


Carnal Knowledge for Dummies

by Caollaidhoe



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Just to be safe, M/M, Minor Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Panic Attacks, dubcon elements, dumb volleyball boys, the rating will probably go up later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2018-02-21 22:14:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2484218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caollaidhoe/pseuds/Caollaidhoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hinata!"</p><p>Suga froze in his tracks.</p><p>Kageyama?</p><p>Suga was sure everyone had left for the day, though he knew for a fact that neither he nor Daichi had actually checked.</p><p>Kageyama’s voice was loud, not quite angry but something similar.  They must be fighting again.</p><p>Suga rolled his eyes and continued to the door of the locker room, ready to give them a serious talking to about acting like a team on and off the court.</p><p> </p><p>or, Hinata and Kageyama are super bad at sex</p><p>##indefinite hiatus##</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. They were doing what?!

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so you're probably gonna need to disregard what you know about the layout of the Karasuno gym and pretend the locker/change room is directly attached to it ahhh im sorry
> 
> sorry if this is a weird concept

Sugawara threw his head back and laughed at the scene Daichi had painted in his mind, moving to avoid a small puddle in the cracked concrete.

"I really like your mother," he chuckled as they walked down the quiet, vibrant street. "She does the strangest things."

"Yeah well at least you didn't have to deal with the mess she made." The taller boy grumbled, kicking a stone in his path.

"Aw don't be like that." Suga laughed, nudging Daichi with his shoulder.

"You're just happy because she likes you more than she likes me."

Suga scoffed, "She loves you more than life itself Daichi, and you know it." He shrugs then, his smile turning sad. "I can't help it if I'm a little jealous."

Daichi immediately turned his full attention on him. "Suga..."

"It's okay, I'm not upset—oh crap"

"What is it?" Daichi’s worried expression only deepens.

"I think I left my house keys in the locker room." Suga dug through his backpack, finding only books and pens. "Damn."

Daichi was already walking back the way they came. "It's not late, we can go back and still be home before it gets too dark."

Suga simply smiled gratefully, jogging to catch up.

 

* * *

 

Daichi veered off the path to the gym, heading towards the vending machine.

"You want the usual, Suga?" He asked, receiving a grateful smile and a nod. "I'll meet you out here, okay?"

Suga nodded once more before unlocking the door to the gym and hurrying towards the change rooms—he didn't want to make them any later than they already were.

"Hinata!"

Suga froze in his tracks.

Kageyama?

Suga was sure everyone had left for the day, though he knew for a fact that neither he nor Daichi had actually checked.

Kageyama’s voice was loud, not quite angry but something similar.  They must be fighting again.

Suga rolled his eyes and continued to the door of the locker room, ready to give them a serious talking to about acting like a team on _and_ off the court.

What he didn't expect was to open the door to two very naked kouhai, who were currently on the floor, fucking.

Suga stood stock-still, mouth half open with the ghosts of words long forgotten.

For their part, the two first years didn’t notice the new addition to the room, too caught up in each other. Kageyama’s body completely covered Hinata’s, the only parts of him visible being a shock of orange hair and a pair of trembling arms and legs.

Kageyama’s face was buried in Hinata’s neck as he set an erratic pace, thrusting into the smaller boy with more force than Suga would expect.

The third year saw Hinata’s face then, and he watched on with horrified eyes as his expression contorted into one of obvious pain and discomfort, the redhead biting his bottom lip and squeezing his eyes shut, presumably to stop any pained noises from escaping him.

It had only been a few short seconds since Suga had entered the change room, but a lone tear tracking across Hinata’s temple pulled him from his immobility and he sprang into action.

"Kageyama, stop! You're hurting him!" Suga yelled, running forward to pull Hinata out of Kageyama’s now slack grip.

Hinata whimpered as he was drawn into Suga’s chest, the older boy wrapping his arms around his waist from behind. He wore an equally shocked and pained expression, until the latter won over and he buried his face in Suga’s shirt.

Kageyama called out to Hinata weakly, reaching out with one hand and trying to cover himself with the other.

The loud echoing slap of shoes on the court reverberated through the gym, getting closer until—

"Suga! I heard-!"

Daichi bowled into the locker room, stopping instantly when he saw the situation.

"...shouting." He finished his earlier thought, eyes flicking between Hinata in Suga’s arms and Kageyama.

"Daichi, take Kageyama." Suga said quietly.

Daichi stared for a second longer before snapping his mouth shut and nodding once firmly.

He went to a nearby locker first, pulling out two towels. He draped one over Hinata before pulling Kageyama from the floor and wrapping him in the other.

Kageyama looked like he wanted to protest as he was being led out into the gym, but he was clearly still too shocked by what had happened—by what he had done to Hinata— that he went without a sound.

 

* * *

  

"I...I don't-I mean I—"

"Kageyama."

The first year stopped talking, completely at a loss for words. Daichi thought he looked a lot smaller like this. He was completely vulnerable, tugging the white towel tightly around his body. But the one thing that made the younger boy look like a completely different person was his expression. Daichi had never seen Kageyama look so terrified and upset all at once. He decided he didn't like it in the least.

"What happened?"

"I-we...Hinata—" Kageyama sounded like he was choking on his team mate’s name.

"Kageyama, take a deep breath." Daichi instructed, placing a firm hand on his shoulder.

Kageyama did as he was told, taking a shaking breath.

"Now, start from the beginning." Daichi said, hoping that it would be easier for him to work up to their current situation.

"Beginning?"

"When did you and Hinata start dating?"

"Oh, um... about a month ago. I-I confessed to him first, and then he told me he’d wanted to confess to me for a few weeks but he didn't know how to do it."

Kageyama seemed to relax more remembering this. It did surprise Daichi a little, not that they were together (he had always had his suspicions), but that they'd been together for that long. He was sure him or Suga or anyone else on the team would have noticed. Apparently their kouhai were a pair of good actors.

"We didn't change much after that. We always walked home together and went to each other’s houses to play video games anyway, I guess we just did it more often." Kageyama shrugged, blushing and looking uncomfortable before continuing. "And then we started kissing a lot, and it got—it started to be _more_. But we never got that far because we decided that we were rushing into things, even though we both wanted too."

He finished quietly, examining his hands as if they were the most fascinating thing he'd seen.

"B-but then a few weeks later we decided we would do it, and I told Hinata I knew how because I thought I did! I-I—!" Kageyama’s breaths were coming in quick bursts. He was panicking.

Daichi slid the hand that was gripping the younger boys shoulder across his back, resting it on the other and pulling Kageyama into his side.

"Today, he wanted to—I swear he did! I didn't force myself on him or anything I just—that dumbass should have said something!" Kageyama rambled on, saying whatever came to mind, and Daichi let him. "No—nonono I should have noticed, damn it. I should have known I was h-hurting him, I should have stopped! I'm the worst boyfriend."

Daichi frowned and took a deep breath, hoping he would word this right.

"Kageyama listen, it's true that you should have been careful with Hinata, you should have paid more attention to him while he was vulnerable like that." Daichi said, because there was nothing else to say about that; Kageyama did mess up. " _But_ , it's also true that no matter how much you wish it, you can't take it back. So wallowing on what happened won’t help you."

Kageyama shook his head. "But I still did that, it still happened—"

"You made a mistake, a pretty dangerous mistake but a mistake all the same. You need to focus on making it up to Hinata, explain what you're feeling and how you never set out to hurt him. Because I know you didn't and I'm sure he does too."

Kageyama’s eyes seemed to lose focus and something about his presence changed.

"What if he hates me now? What if he doesn't want to be near me? I mean I can't play volleyball without him, he's the best partner for me! And—and I can't not be near him—I _like_ him! Damn it I really, _really_ like him, he can't leave oh god—"

Daichi had to stop him there, because now he really was panicking; it sounded like he was struggling to breathe at all, harsh breaths dragging in and out erratically, eyes blown wide and pooling with tears. His hands were shaking and he was curling in on himself where they sat on the wooden bench.

Daichi cursed inwardly, slipping off the bench to kneel in front of the younger boy. He shouldn't have let Kageyama say and think those things.

He was definitely having a panic attack. Suga had them too, albeit infrequently, but Kageyama was showing all the same signs. And by the confusion mixed in with the panic in his eyes, Daichi could tell Kageyama had probably never experienced one before.

"Kageyama—hey, look at me." Daichi steadied him with his hands but Kageyama was as tense as ever, and didn't meet his gaze.

 _Don't restrain him_. Daichi removed his hands. Suga hated being held like he couldn't escape when he was like this.

It had been so long since Sugawara’s last attack that Daichi had to rake his brain for the best way to deal with this.

Koushi. He always called Suga by his first name when this happened. It seemed to bring a certain familial presence that calmed him— even if he didn't have the greatest relationship with his parents.

Daichi thought of one or two other things that usually helped that he couldn't try with Kageyama, as well as another pretty important one. Even though it was late in the afternoon, it was still rather bright in the gym, which could be a problem. Either way, Daichi could only try everything.

"Tobio, listen to me. I need you to close your eyes for me, okay?" Daichi waited. "Tobio?"

Kageyama lifted his head jerkily, tears spilling over and down his cheeks as he met Daichi’s calm eyes. Daichi smiled, "Close your eyes."

The boy took a few more shuddering breaths before he nodded and let his eyelids fall. "I—I feel dizzy." He choked out.

_Get him into a position he's comfortable in._

"Okay. Do you want to lie down?"

"No—" Kageyama’s breathing picked again. "I don't... want to m—move from here."

"Okay, just stay in the position that makes you comfortable okay?" Daichi’s voice was calm, but firm.

Kageyama nodded, briefly opening his eyes to determine where the upperclassman was. He let his head fall forward onto Daichi’s shoulder slowly, breathing a little smoother now that he didn't have to hold up his swimming head.

Daichi kept steady and listened to Kageyama’s breathing, which was still too abnormal to be healthy. He was probably still thinking about what Hinata will do after all this.

"Tobio I want you to focus on my breathing okay?"

"Okay."

"Good. Now I want you to mimic my breaths. Focus on only that." Daichi took a deep breath and held it for a second before letting it out.

Telling Kageyama that things with Hinata would be fine wouldn’t help at all, it would only draw more attention to the thing that brought on this attack in the first place. It was better to get him to focus on something else.

Daichi took another breath, and another, and another until Kageyama was mostly meeting each one, occasionally slipping up but doing well for the most part.

After about two minutes, Kageyama’s breathing was virtually back to normal. But now he was shaking for a whole different reason than panic, and Daichi could feel tears soaking into his shirt where Kageyama rested on his shoulder.

Daichi placed a cool hand on the back of Kageyama’s neck. "It's okay, Kageyama."

"I-I'm sorry Daichi-san." The first year rasped out.

"There's no need for that." Daichi reprimanded. "Have you had a panic attack before?"

Kageyama sniffled before nodding. "Only once, it was so lo-long ago though, that's why I was confused." He pulled away from Daichi’s shoulder, wiping at his face with the towel. "It was in middle school... after my team left me alone on the court."

"What did you do? Did someone help you?"

Kageyama shook his head. "I just stayed in the bathroom until it stopped, it went on for a lot longer than this one did... Thankyou for helping me."

"Of course, it's my job to look after you kouhai." Daichi patted Kageyama’s head with a small smile.

Kageyama tried to return it but it came out as a grimace. "I did something terrible Daichi-san."

"Kageyama you just have to talk to him, okay? It's the only thing for it." Daichi told him firmly. He couldn't have Kageyama thinking like that again. "I'm going to message Sugawara, is it okay that I tell him what happened?"

Kageyama nodded rigidly, taking a deep breath.

Daichi smiled, placing a reassuring hand on Kageyama’s knee.

 

**_To:_ Koushi**

**_Sub:_** hows Hinata?

_Suga, Kageyama’s doing ok now, he had a bit of a panic attack before but he got through it. Hows the little guy going?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second chapter will be with Hinata and Suga and shouldn't take too long because it was technically suppose to be part of this chapter but things ended up getting loooong and yeah.
> 
> super sorry if the characterisation is off, I'm doing my best but I really need to read the manga. Any tips on this or anything else are welcome and encouraged! thankyou for reading ♥ ♥


	2. The sun still shines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all thankyou so much for all the kudos/comments on the first chapter! Had me grinning like a fool so good job with that ^_^ ♥ 
> 
> Not 100% happy with this chapter but here it is. The next one may take a little longer because its coming into exam season for me (ugh) but ill do my best to get it written asap!

Hinata continued to shake after Daichi and Kageyama left the locker room, and Suga did his best to calm him, carding his fingers through his soft hair and whispering reassurances to him.

Clearly he and Daichi needed to have a talk with their clueless kouhai. He'd need to buy some things for them too.

Suga sighed, rubbing Hinata’s back in small circles. His shaking was much less violent now and he had practically melted into Suga’s embrace, resting in the third years crossed legs, his face still buried in his chest. Suga had adjusted the towel so it covered Hinata better. This situation was probably embarrassing enough for the bright haired boy, add in his senpai seeing him in such a state and Hinata was practically a ball of embarrassment.

"Hinata~" Suga cooed lightly when the boys breathing was even and his tears had dried.

"Suga-san?" He was barely audible, voice muffled in Suga’s shirt.

"How are you feeling?" He asked softly, trying to coax the younger boy out from his hiding place.

"Hurts." Came the simple reply.

Suga hummed, ”I know. When you get home I want you to run a warm bath, okay? Not too hot though. It'll help I promise."

Hinata slowly pulled away from Suga (finally!) and wiped at his face, which, to be as kind as possible, was a mess.

"...okay." He said, looking up at the upperclassman.

Suga smiled, pushing strands of Hinata’s wilder-than-usual hair away from his face where some was stuck to his skin with a mix of sweat, tears, and snot. It was decidedly disgusting, but Suga didn't mind.

Hinata looked away, wiping furiously at his face with the corner of the towel.

Suga laughed lightly, "Stop that, it’s fine."

"I'm messy," Hinata countered. "I made your shirt messy." He glanced guiltily at the wet patch on Suga’s shirt. "I'm really sorry Suga-senpai."

"Hinata, it's okay!" Suga said sincerely, his face turning a little more serious then. "Do you want to talk?"

He knew Hinata knew what he was implying.

"We are talking." The boy mumbled predictably.

Suga sighed, deciding on the more direct, blatant approach. Whether he liked it or not, Hinata needed to talk about this, and god knows he wouldn't do it with Kageyama without relentless prompting so this was the only other option.

"Why didn't you tell Kageyama he was hurting you?"

Hinata huffed, shifting uncomfortably in Suga’s lap. Suga could see the defeat in his eyes before it registered on his face.

"...he was upset. He wouldn't tell me much but he said something about a bad grade." Hinata explained. "And then today in practice he was really off."

Suga nodded, remembering how over half of Kageyama’s tosses hadn't been where the spikers had wanted them. Even his tosses to Hinata were off.

"I just wanted to make him feel better." The boy trailed off.

"So you initiated it." Suga said.

Hinata nodded. "He told me he knew how so I thought it would be okay...and then I was happy, because I could tell he was feeling good. So when he pushed into me and it didn't stop hurting from then on, I didn't say anything. I just pulled his face into my neck so he wouldn't see my face." Hinata sighed, "I just wanted to make him feel good... I-I like him. I _really_ like him."

Suga sighed and pulled a blushing Hinata back into his chest, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. "Trust me, Kageyama would have rather you tell him those type of things. You can't seriously believe he'd be okay after hurting you like this?"

"He wasn't supposed to know!"

"That's beside the point. He should have known. He must've been pretty messed up today to not have noticed." Suga carded his fingers through Hinata’s hair again, liking the soft feel of it between his fingers. "Whatever you were doing was obviously very wrong though. Usually it might hurt a little, or not at all if you’re very careful. Otherwise it's just a weird feeling of discomfort— before it starts feeling good, of course."

Hinata groaned, turning his head into Suga’s chest, presumably to hide his red face. "How can you say such embarrassing things?" He said, "How do you even know all this?"

Suga smiled, "it's my job to know."

A vibration startled the pair then, drawing their attention.

Suga fished his phone from his pocket, checking the message he just received.

Daichi? Why didn't he just come and talk to him, Kageyama would probably be fine on his own.  
  


**_From:_ dai~chi  <33**

_**Sub:**_ how's Hinata?

_Suga, Kageyama’s doing ok now, he had a bit of a panic attack before but he got through it. Hows the little guy going?_   
  


Well that explained it. Daichi couldn't leave Kageyama alone after a panic attack. Suga sent a message back, letting him know that Hinata was fine, just a little sore and shaken.

"Suga-san?"

"Yeah, Hinata?"

"Can I put my clothes on?"

Suga chuckled lightly, nodding and helping the boy stand up.

"You okay?" He asked, noting the unsteady legs.

Hinata nodded, waddling over to the pile of clothes on the floor. He scooped them up, one hand still holding the towel securely around him.

"You don't need any help getting dressed?" Suga asked.

"No!" Was the indignant reply and Suga laughed, holding up his hands defensively.

"Here, take Kageyama’s clothes out to him." Hinata mumbled, pushing a small pile into Suga’s arms.

The third year smiled, accepting them. "Come out when you're ready?"

Hinata nodded firmly.

"Good." Suga squeezed his shoulder quickly before leaving the locker room.

* * *

 

He spotted Daichi and Kageyama immediately, sitting on a bench at the side of the gym. Well, _Kageyama_ was sitting. Daichi was kneeling in front of him, both hands placed on the younger boys knees. He was talking to him in a hushed voice and Suga approached warily, aware that Kageyama might not be in the right way to be surrounded by too many people at the moment.

Daichi noticed him first, smiling a little, nudging Kageyama and saying something to him.

"I brought your clothes—" Suga began once he'd reached them, but was immediately cut off by the first year.

"Is—I mean,” Kageyama swallowed. "How is... How is he?"

Suga sat down next to Kageyama, placing the pile of clothes out of the way. "Hinata’s doing okay. He's getting dressed at the moment, but he said he would come out when he's ready." Suga glanced at him, "Is that okay with you?"

"I..." Kageyama was at a loss for words. He didn't really know if he could face his boyfriend, but at the same time he needed to see that he was okay. The possibility of Hinata hating him continued to play on his mind. Kageyama didn't think he'd be able to function if Hinata looked at him with those big brown eyes, completely full of contempt.

"Kageyama," Suga said softly. "It's okay. Hinata likes you very much, he knows you didn't mean to hurt him. Have a little faith yeah? It's not all bad." The upperclassman reach up a hand to ruffle his hair, giving him a smile.

Kageyama looked away from Suga and to Daichi, noticing the strange look the captain was giving the silver haired boy before he directed his smile at Kageyama, squeezing his knee.

"O-okay."

Suga beamed, grabbing the pile of clothes once more and placing them in Kageyama’s lap. "We really shouldn't leave you alone after a panic attack, do you want one of us to stay?"

"No." Kageyama blushed deep red. "I'll be fine."

Suga chuckled, "We'll wait outside then, you get dressed."

Suga stood up, grabbing Daichi’s elbow and helping him from the floor. "We'll be back in three minutes, okay?"

Kageyama nodded, watching as they made their way to the gym door and listening to the distinct click as it shut behind them.

In that moment, Kageyama was eternally thankful for his senpai.

He stood up unsteadily, letting the towel drop and pulling on his clothes quickly.

He just barely tugged on his shirt when soft footsteps came from behind him. Kageyama shivered. It could only be one person, there had been no tell-tale clicking of the gym doors as they opened, the third years were still outside. Before Kageyama could turn around small arms slipped around his waist, hesitantly at first, as if the owner wasn’t certain of their own movements, and then all at once they were around him and _squeezing_. Kageyama was frozen in place, staring transfixed at the thin arms pressed into his stomach. A wave of emotions rolled through him; deep regret, happiness, relief, anger, and a few more he couldn't place. He squeezed his eyes shut, trembling hands reaching up to cover the ones around him.

"I'm... so sorry, I—"

In a blur of bright orange Hinata was in front of him, reaching up around Kageyama’s neck and pulling him down into a hug. The taller boy went stiff but allowed it, leaning down at the odd angle as Hinata held him firmly.

"It's okay."

His voice was soft and calm in his ear and Kageyama let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, dropping his head onto his boyfriends shoulder. He slowly brought his arms up, wrapping them around the small frame tentatively. He was so scared of _breaking_ him his arms almost hovered around Hinata.

They were content standing there in the gym, a mix of emotions not wholly good, but good enough for them passing between the two. Kageyama almost wanted to say more—to apologise until his voice ran out— but he knew it wouldn't make things okay, and he wasn’t sure if Hinata would want him to.

Someone cleared their throat, "Hinata, Kageyama, it's getting late."

It was Sugawara’s gentle voice that roused them, Kageyama hadn't even heard the two third years come in. Hinata released him slowly, giving him a peck on the cheek for good measure.

"Will you be okay walking home?" Daichi directed his question to them both equally, though Kageyama thought Hinata deserved all the attention. Kageyama was fine, his boyfriend was the one who'd been hurt.

"We'll be okay!" Hinata gave a wide grin that made Kageyama’s stomach lurch like it was attempting to detach and force its way up his throat. How could he be so _happy_? And give that smile that Kageyama wished he could look at every day for the rest of his life. Not that he would tell the dumbass middle blocker.

Their senpai looked vaguely uncertain but smiled all the same, gesturing for the first years to leave first so they could lock up behind them. Hinata and Kageyama quickly grabbed their bags from the locker room, bowing low to Sugawara and Daichi while apologizing profusely for any trouble they caused.

"That's quite alright—"

"But it won't be the last you hear about this from us," Suga interrupted the captain, eyes stern.

Hinata and Kageyama nodded guiltily, wondering just what _that_ meant, bidding their goodbyes and leaving the gym.

Kageyama jumped as his hand was clasped in Hinata’s smaller one, the overwhelming urge to snatch it back nearly winning out over the contrasting desire to pull the orange haired boy into his arms again. He did neither, allowing Hinata to cling to his hand as they walked away from the school, and away from Kageyama’s big mistake.

Daichi and Sugawara watched on curiously, a hint of worry for their kouhai between them. The silver haired boy pressed up against Daichi’s side, "Do you think they'll be okay?"

Daichi hummed, considering the question. "I don't know." He admitted with a frown. "But they have overcome a lot together, I think they might surprise us."

Suga cocked and eyebrow as Kageyama edged away from the smaller boy when he tried to walk closer to him. It was almost comical.

"It wouldn't be the first time, that's for sure."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thankyou so much for reading ! ♥ ♥ ♥


	3. Actual mum Sugawara Koushi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry for taking so long on this, with my laptop dying and hitting a massive writers block i struggled to get this done. But I forced myself to sit down and write because it needed to happen. I promise im going to finish this though, so even if it takes a while, know i havent abandoned it. But enough of excuses, this longer chapter can be like a crappy overdue christmas present. Hope you all have/had a wonderful day!

Hinata huffed as he turned the pedals on his bike rhythmically, pushing himself up the rickety hill. He still ached a little, especially around his hips and ass, but that wasn't why he was so pissed. Kageyama had been avoiding him at every turn, in every possible way.

Usually, the pair of them would spend at least one day of the weekend together, practicing volleyball or playing computer games or making out. Sometimes they spent all of their weekend together, working on homework in the time that they would usually be apart.

Hinata had invited Kageyama over no less than five times; three on Saturday and two on Sunday. But the dark haired boy would always reply to his messages with a ridiculously frustrating and blunt excuse like 'Can't, mum wants me to go shopping with her' or 'I have to go visit my grandparents'. Hinata had even tried to invite himself over to Kageyama's twice, each time being shut down in a similar fashion. Their phone calls (both initiated by Hinata) were brief and mostly one sided, Kageyama always finding a reason to hang up after only a few short minutes. At that point Hinata fully expected his boyfriend to throw an excuse like 'Sorry, I can't hang out with you today I have to babysit my aunt's friend's second cousin 83 times removed.' at him and expect him to believe it.

After the incident on Friday the walk home had been, by all interpretations of the word, painful. When they had reached the school gates, Kageyama had let go of his hand. This in itself wasn't out of the ordinary -- it was much too risky for them to hold hands on the streets -- but after all that had happened it stung Hinata's already wounded chest. Kageyama apologized a grand total of six more times on their journey home. Each one felt like a new blade in his stomach, because that wasnt Kageyama. Hinata wanted him back to the way he was. He wanted the insults, the frequent threats and name calling. He wanted for Kageyama to yell at him sometimes, when the moment was right. He wanted the boy that would apologise once, because it was enough. He didn't want to be treated like some statue that Kageyama had fractured to the point where a feather of weight could send it crumbling to pieces. Most of all he wanted the fierce affection Kageyama often expressed around him, especially when they were alone.

When they parted on Friday, Kageyama had accepted Hinata's peck on the lips goodbye, albeit rigidly. He remembered thinking he'd have more luck making out with a lamp post.

Hinata brought his bike to a stop, chaining it up and cursing audibly a few times when he couldn't manage to connect the lock properly.

The school was practically deserted, only people like himself and Kageyama came this early. Along with Sugawara and Daichi of course, who would be in the club room going over this mornings training regimen.

He wasn't sure why he still came early today. After Kageyamas Houdini act Hinata fully expected for him to not show up. Without his partner, there really was no good reason for him being there. Perhaps it was habit, but either way he'd dragged himself here now, maybe he could coax Sugawara into practicing a few spikes with him. Maybe he would just wallow in his own misery for a while. The possibilities were great, Hinata hadn't decided yet.

Sighing, he trudged towards the gym, kicking at stones in his path in a pathetic attempt to release some of his anger. He hated that Kageyama was ignoring him. He hated himself for ruining what they had. After all, he had been the one to initiate it. How could he have been so stupid? Kageyama probably didn't want much to do with him anymore. Maybe he'd try and get him kicked off the team. He shuddered at the thought.

Preoccupied in his thoughts, Hinata nearly missed the moment another pair of footsteps joined the monotonous tapping of his own. However he was at a good vantage point, slouched over and moping at the ground like he was, he saw the new pair of feet before he heard them.

Hinatas train of thought derailed and exploded with all the force of a crappy Michael Bay film when he looked at Kageyama, the owner of said feet. A small smile played on his lips, tentative, as though Kageyama wasn't sure if it should be there. It was terrifying, sure, he rarely managed to smile like a normal person when it was forced, but it was something. And just like that, it was as though the past three days never even happened. Hinata wanted to stay angry, he wanted to ask questions and yell and apologise and demand answers, he really did. But that expression flawed him. He was well aware that he probably looked like a complete dumbass staring at his boyfriend with his eyes bulging and mouth gaping. He didn't get long to think about that, as Kageyama took off in a full sprint towards the gym.

Hinata took off after him. Like nothing had changed. Like any other morning they were going to race to the gym?

Hinata forced his legs to move faster, falling into step besides Kageyama who in turn increased his speed. Hinata would have laughed if he didn't think doing so could be detrimental to him winning. Instead he smiled, loving the feel of the wind whipping through his hair. He reveled in the combined sound of their shoes slapping against the old concrete and the cool morning air as it bit at his skin, making him feel infinitely more awake.

Maybe Kageyama really _had_ been busy all weekend? It wasn't exactly impossible, he did have other things in his life besides Hinata. Maybe this really was just a big misunderstanding?

Hinata collapsed in a heap when he reached the steps of the gym, half a second after Kageyama who was equally as exhausted. They laid there, gasping for breath for a moment before Kageyama finally spoke. "That's 72 and 71 now, my way." He sounded so smug when he said it Hinata almost wanted to hit him.

"I'll win next time." He huffed, pushing himself up and over to where Kageyama was still struggling to catch a breath. He smiled, hovering over his team mate for a moment before swooping down and pressing a hard kiss to Kageyamas lips. Hinata didnt miss the panicked look on his face right before contact, but he ignored it. They did this most mornings; Kageyama would drag him to side of the gym and press him against the wall and they'd make out for a while. Sometimes they lost track of time and didn't stop until they heard the rest of the team arriving. When Daichi or Sugawara would ask why they didn't come early, they would claim to have slept in or decided not to that day. It was practically fool proof.

Hinata licked at Kageyamas lips, attempting to deepen the kiss but the other boy wouldn't have it. Strong hands pushed against his chest, forcing him away. He heard Kageyama mumbled something about being in public and Hinata had to resist the urge to hit him once more. Like that's ever stopped them before?! Kageyama pulled himself from the floor, reaching down to help Hinata up before grabbing his discarded bag. "Come on, we can practice some receives before the team gets here." His quite words just sounded like an excuse to Hinata, a distraction. Still, he followed without complaint.

Hinata didn't notice Kageyama freeze after he opened the gym door, walking right into his back. "Oowww! Kageyama, why'd you stop?" Hinata whined, rubbing his sore nose. Kageyama didn't reply, stepping aside instead so the redhead could see for himself.

"Sugawara-senpai?"

Standing in the middle of the court  were none other than the two captains. Sugawara looked calm, smiling in a way that could only be described as knowing. Something about the curve of his lips set Hinata on edge. Daichi, on the other hand, looked antsy and uncomfortable, shifting his weight at least four times in the short few seconds the first years had been standing there.

Kageyama and Hinata entered the gym warily, trying to determine what the upperclassmen could want with them. Were they getting into trouble? We're they being taken off as regulars? Are they going to be punished for Friday? Sugawara _had_ said that it wouldn't be the last they'd hear from them about the incident. Hinata swallowed nervously. Part of him kind of hoped they would just get yelled at, however scary Daichi was when he yelled. He'd rather that than an alternative.

"You guys are colder than ice," Daichi spoke when they were standing in front of the third years. He eyed the notable distance between Hinata and Kageyama. "didn't you kiss and make up already?"

Hinata muttered to himself, "Kageyama won't _let_ me kiss him."

"Shut up, dumbass" Kageyama said, avoiding everyone's eyes.

Hinata pouted and looked to the upperclassmen for help. Daichi raised an eyebrow at Kageyama and Sugawara just shrugged. Not much help then.

"Well, whether you're going to or not, Suga's gonna teach you... stuff." With that Daichi quickly slipped away, making a beeline for the exit amongst Sugawaras protesting. "I'm gonna go grab us some breakfast, babe, I know you didn't eat this morning, later!"

 _Babe_? Hinatas eyes widened in suprise at the pet name. So everyone really was right, their captains were a thing. Nishinoya owed Tanaka a fair bit of money. Kageyama was looking at Sugawara with a similar glint if curiosity.

"Coward." The silver haired boy muttered.

"Babe?" Hinata questioned, mischief sparkling in his brown eyes. pushing the embarrassment of the situation onto his senpai definitely sounded like something he wanted to do. He wasnt sure if he could stand any more himself.

Sugawara eyes widened and his mouth flapped open like a baby bird a few times before he mumbled something indiscernible under his breath, sitting down where he was on the gym floor. "Let's just do this." He motioned for Hinata and Kageyama to sit down in front if him.

Hinata was still smirking as they sat down, but that was swiftly wiped from his face when Sugawara pulled an intimidating black plastic bag into view. He eyed it suspiciously but it was simply placed to the side. Hinata had been slowly putting the pieces together but it wasn't until he saw the bag that it finally clicked. This was going to be a talk. A _sex talk_. Who knew what kind of vile things were in that bag. Hinata breifly considered following Daichi's example and making a run for it.

"Now," Sugawara started. "This is going to be as uncomfortable for me as it is for you so just be quiet so we can get through it." As an afterthought he added, "Unless you have any relevant questions! I don't want you guys to be confused about anything, alright?"

Hinata swallowed the nervous lump in his throat and nodded. He saw Kageyama do that same from the corner of his eye.

And it wasnt so bad, at the beginning at least. Sugawara started off talking about relationships in general and how communication is absolutely vital in all areas, especially in the bedroom. He mentioned that every couple should talk about what they each want to get out of a relationship to avoid any misunderstandings or unwanted advances. Linking that to consent and how and when it can be given. Hinata didn't think he'd mind if Kageyama wanted to do something when they were drunk (assuming they were much older and still together) but he understood why it wouldnt quite count as consent. maybe that was something you were supposed to talk about together when youre sober.

Sugawara emphasized the importance of making sure the other was okay during sex, and how important it is to ensure they continue to feel comfortable afterwards. He spoke about the different ways people behave after being intimate with each other, highlighting the fact that everyone is different and there's no right way to react.

Kageyama looked upset during the first part of Sugawaras lesson and Hinata wanted so desperately to reach out and take his hand. But he didn't.

"Okay, ah..." Sugawara reached for the black bag then. "Now for the actual _doing_ part I guess."

Oh no. The _doing_ part. This was going to be bad, Hinata wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to look Sugawara in the eyes again.

"First of all, you need to have the necessary, ah, provisions before you do anything." He began pulling things from the plastic bag one by one. "So you might already know what some of this is but ill explain it anyway."

Hinata knew what condoms were, but the other things he wasn't so sure on.

Sugawara picked up the small silver packet first. "So this is your regular latex condom." He tore open the packet and settled the off-colored circle in his palm. "Pretty much the most basic thing for sex with girls, but a lot of people don't seem to know that they're just as essential for guys practicing anal sex."

Hinata pulled his knees to his chest. He did not want to hear Sugawara say those words but he knew he'd only hear them more as the lesson progressed. He hoped it wouldn't go for too much longer.

"They make everything a little less messy. As well as provide protection against sexually transmitted infections. Cleaning up afterwards is a lot quicker too--"

Kageyama interrupted, sounding a little panicked. "We didn't use a condom when we... last Friday." He trailed off awkwardly.

Hinatas eyes widened, could they have gotten an infection?

"No, you didn't. But It's extremely unlikely that either of you have anything you didnt already know about. You're very young, and you were both virgins, yes?"

Hinata and Kageyama nodded quickly.

Sugawara smiled. "Then unless either of you have been needle-sharing you're fine. But if you're really worried, and this goes for any time in the future as well, I'm always willing to take you to a health clinic for tests. They're anonymous and generally don't require parental consent."

"No, I think I'm okay."

"Yeah me too."

"Of course, just so you know it's an option." Sugawara gestured to his hand, bringing the attention back to the condom. 

He explained what the parts of the condom were and what they did. When he needed to show them how to put it on, he reached back into the black plastic bag and pulled out--

"A banana?! You actually brought a banana oh my _god_." Hinata covered his face with his hands.

"it was this or a cucumber alright, I didn't know what else to use." Sugawara defended. He then proceeded to ensure Hinata would never eat another banana in his life, demonstrating how to correctly put on the condom, sliding it down in an almost agonizingly slow movement of his arm. Even though it was a freaking piece of fruit, Hinata found it needlessly sexual--like Sugawara was messing with them. Or maybe he was just really horny and it was projecting. Either way, he watched on from between his fingers. Kageyama was stock still and blushing furiously, the colour stretching all the way into the collar of his shirt. but he watched on intensely, with an enviable kind of bravery.

"Be careful when you take it off and make sure you tie it." He peeled the condom off and knotted it about half way. "Then just wrap it in a tissue and put it in a bin."

Hinata would like nothing more than to say the banana-condom demonstration was the worst part of Sugawaras lesson, but apart from being a gross underestimation of the third years attention to detail, it would also be a stupendous lie. After he showed them the small bottle of lube (which Hinata decided would have been a godsend last Friday) and explained what exactly the 'female' condom was and how to use it, Sugawara leapt head first into his Step-By-Step Guide to Super Gay Penetrative Sex (capitalization strictly necessary).

The unexpectedly detailed descriptions he went into were as admirable as they were cripplingly embarrassing. He even spoke about what positions might make things more comfortable. Listening to someone lay down the basics of it meant Hinata could pinpoint every single thing he and Kageyama had done wrong Friday afternoon, which was pretty much everything. Perhaps the only thing they did right was take of their clothes, and that isn't even necessary half the time.

"Now you guys know that penetrative sex isn't the only thing you can do right? You can use your mouth anywhere-- just be careful with teeth in sensitive areas." He said pointedly. "Or you could just kind of rub against each other, there really is no right or wrong way, as long as you both are consenting and being safe." Sugawara shrugged. "I guess that's about it, if you want a more detailed explanation of anything just come talk to me, unless you have any questions now?"

"No."

"Does it always hurt afterwards?"

Hinata hadn't really meant to say it, but it had been playing on his mind for a while. He saw Kageyama look at him guiltily.

"Well," Sugawara answered carefully. "Yes and no. Sometimes there could be pain, if you were perhaps too quick or too rough, but mostly your muscles just kind of ache and you feel a bit tender."

"Oh, okay. That's good."

Sugawara nodded, reaching into the plastic bag again. From it, he pulled out a smaller brown paper bag (seriously was that thing bottomless?) and handed it to Kageyama.

"If you need more stuff just ask me, or Daichi. Or you could get it yourself if you're brave enough." Sugawara smiled. "Oh! But if you're going to buy more lube make sure it's water based, okay? Oil-based stuff destroys condoms."

"Right."

"Great. You guys should go get changed the rest of the team should start arriving soon."

Just as Sugawara was wrapping up their little lesson, the door to the gym creaked open and Daichi poked his head in. Seeing them still sitting on the floor he went to close it again but Sugawara called out to him before he could.

"Daichi get your cute little ass in here right now or so help me." He said, hint of a threat in his tone. Apparently he didn't care about keeping their secret anymore. Hinata supposed it was unnecessary now that he and Kageyama knew it.

Daichi however wasnt aware of this and paled considerably. "Suga what are you-"

"They know."

"You _told_ them?!"

"No, _you_ told them," Sugawara raised his eyebrows, "when you left."

It took Daichi a moment but his mouth opened in a small o shape."Oh."

"Yeah, _oh_."

"Suga, I'm sorry, I-"

Sugawara held up a hand to silence him and sighed. "Not now."

Hinata and Kageyama watched on curiously, a little guilty that they had been the cause of this. They had gradually moved closer to each other in their mutual discomfort and Hinata could faintly smell Kageyamas shampoo. He missed it. Hinata wanted to bury his face in his soft locks until that smell encompassed all his senses. Kageyama would probably push him away like he had outside they gym. He couldn't think of anything sadder.

"We're sorry! We won't...tell anyone, or anything..." Hinata blurted out before blushing hard and stairing at the ground. "Don't...fight...or anything."

Sugawaras lips stretched into a big maternal smile and it was only then that Hinata realized how familial the conversation had become. "We're not going to fight." Daichi seemed to deflate visibly along with Hinata. "Go get changed, alright?"

Kageyama and Hinata nod, quickly making their way towards the change room. Kageyama had the brown paper bag clutched tight in his fist and as soon as they were out of sight he shoved it deep into his bag. He looked kind of angry.

Hinata would question it, but they're already on rocky ground. Plus, _he's_ still pissed too. Kageyama hadn't shown the slightest bit of interest in him all morning. They're acting like they did in middle school; Kageyama cold and cruel and Hinata cowering but determined all the same.

He dressed quickly, almost falling over as he yanked his shorts up. His chest swelled a little when Kageyama moved to steady him, but deflated when he retracted his hands almost immediately, as if he'd been burned. He stuffed his bag into his locker, unsure whether he should just leave and go out into the gym or wait for his boyfriend. In the seconds it took for him to decide Kageyama was already walking around him, heading for the gym.

"Wait!" Hinata grabbed the hem of his shirt firmly.

Kageyama looked down at him, surprised but mostly agitated it would seem.

Hinata squeezed his eyes shut. What was he doing? What did he want? He wanted... wanted... _something_. "Kiss me." Kageyama recoiled. "Pease, _please_ , kiss me."

"The others will be here soon." Kageyama tried to wriggle out of Hinatas grip.

No. He needed this. He couldn't live with himself knowing Kageyama probably didn't want him anymore, but still being the one to stick around. It was almost like being his own antagonist. "I-if you don't like me anymore, just _tell me_." Hinata growled, his stomach doing flips and turning painfully. "It's not fair like this, it's so cruel." Hinata felt used. Kageyama only wanted to experiment or something with him right? Maybe he just wanted to have sex with him. And even though that didn't even work out he decided he was tired of Hinata now, that was it, wasnt it?

Logically, part of him knew that all of that was bullshit. Kageyama wouldn't put up with him for so long just to have not-sex with him and leave. Kageyama liked him, he _knew_ that. But that tiny, rational part of him was buried deep within the overwhelming side of him that overanalysed and saw the worst in everything.

Kageyama looked shocked. He turned around to face Hinata fully, the smaller boy letting go of the fabric at his back. "What are you talking about?"

"You...you don't-"

"Shut up." Kageyama tipped his chin up gently, pressing his cool lips against Hinatas chapped ones. It was soft and sweet, and not nearly what Hinata wanted, but it was enough for now.

After the brush of lips Kageyama pulled away slightly, looking into his eyes. "Stop worrying so much, I like you. How many times do I have to say it?"

"But-!"

Kageyama pressed his thumb to Hinatas lips, stopping any rebuttal before it came.

"You're really cute when you don't talk."

"Hey!" Hinata glared indignantly.

Kageyama smiled - a _real_ smile - taking a few strands of Hinatas hair in his fingers. It was a strange nervous habit he'd picked up recently, Hinata noted. "Listen..." Kageyama said. "I need a little time. Just to think and stuff." Pausing to gage Hinatas reaction, he twirled a red lock around his forefinger. It was very distracting. "And don't go thinking I'm gonna break up with you or whatever other dumb shit you can think up, I just have to figure out a few things on my own."

Hinata frowned. "But... for how long? Are you going to stay away from me completely?" Just what did Kageyama want to do? Hinata hated spending long periods of time without seeing him at least once, surely Kageyama wouldn't want to steer clear of him for a few weeks?

"I don't know, hopefully not very long. And no, I'm not going to keep away from you or anything, I just... Need a little more space than usual? We'll still hang out and stuff."

Hinata shook his head slightly, Kageyama was basically asking for them to act like they'd broken up. How was that any different from actually breaking up? It would still feel the same to Hinata. Instead it would be like a trial run? "You want us to be like before we got together?"

Kageyama looked pained at that. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Oh." A pause. "Are you sure you still like me?"

"Yes! Hinata I do, I just really need to sort some things out. Please, it won't be for too long." He sounded kind of pathetic, practically begging as he was. It clearly wasnt something he felt comfortable doing if the scary look on his face was anything to go by.

Hinata pouted, looking down at his feet. "Can I have at least one kiss a day?"

"Hinata." Kageyama groaned, pinching him.

Hinata looked up, turning his pouty face on Kageyama. He knew he couldn't refuse.

"F _ine_. But I get to initiate them _and_ say when they end."

What a killjoy. Hinata tried a few more seconds of intense pouting action but Kageyama must've had some sort of superpower because he held his ground. Hinata sighed dramatically, "Okay."

Kageyama looked relieved to have met the conclusion of the conversation, and mostly in the way he wanted probably too. "C'mon, practice." He jerked his head towards the door.

"Yeah."

Following Kageyama out of the locker room, Hinata told himself that he would be okay with the other boy taking some time to ‘figure stuff out’. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing. He wasn't sure. 

One thing he was certain of however; No matter what, Kageyama was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come yell at me on [tumblr](http://caollaidhe.tumblr.com/) if im taking too long again.  
> I'm posting this from my phone considering the dead laptop so if there are any formatting issues it would be cool if you could comment/message me, thankyou!


	4. An unfortunate loophole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So turns out I'm pretty awful at updating regularly, go figure. Sorry about that. This is short and pointless but here you go

Practice was less uncomfortable than one would expect after getting a half hour lecture on gay sex and relationships. Sure, Hinata struggled to look at his captains the whole time, both of whom seemed completely unfazed by this morning’s events as though they hadn't even happened, but at least Kageyama was back to his normal name-calling self.

It took Hinata twenty minutes to connect the dots and realise how Sugawara knew so much about _that_ stuff. It then took a further ten minutes of fierce blushing until their short break and under two seconds for Hinata to pull Kageyama aside and share his revelation.

"What is it?" Kageyama snapped, tearing his arm away.

"Kageyama," Hinata whined, "Sugawara senpai knows all that stuff because him and the captain have done it, right?"

Kageyama groaned and made a face. "Why'd you have to tell me that, I was doing just fine on my own forgetting about it."

"You're my boyfriend, we have to feel each other’s pain it's basically textbook."

"Then we should rewrite that textbook." Kageyama grumbled, screwing the cap back onto his drink bottle. "C'mon, we're starting again." He tugged on Hinata’s elbow once, walking back over to the small crowed the team made on the court.

Hinata ended up spiking balls into four different people's heads over the course of morning practice, including Kageyama’s. He had gotten that scary look on his face and he glared at Hinata while the red head cowered behind Tanaka (who also copped one to the back of the head not long after).

He also managed to fall over a record number times, 24 so Nishinoya told him. And not just during receives either. Kageyama yelled at him, telling him to stop being so clumsy. Tsukishima seemed to be in full-fledged asshole mode, whispering behind his hand to Yamaguchi significantly more often than usual and sending Hinata supposedly innocent smiles every time he caught his eye.

For the first time ever, Hinata was glad practice was over.

Classes went surprisingly quick after that, Hinata managing to take down a few of his teachers notes. He caught Kageyama’s eyes a few times throughout the day and every time he would look away. Sometimes it wasn't immediately, sometimes Hinata was able to shoot him a smile before the dark haired boy decided there was something else that desperately demanded his attention. It was sort of frustrating. He was still allowed to look at Kageyama wasn't he? He wanted Kageyama to give him one of his creepy-ass smiles, he wanted to see one his rare _real_ smiles, he just wanted Kageyama to open up to him again and act like his boyfriend rather than jilted lover. Which was all he seemed to be doing for the past week. Even with the whole "giving Kageyama some space" thing, he could at least show some sort of interest.

When lunch came around Kageyama was nowhere to be seen. Hinata distinctly remembered him saying they would hang out, like they usually did before they got together. They had always eaten lunch with one another. Hinata frowned at the place where they would usually share lunch, before going to sit with Yamaguchi, who was quietly nibbling on his chopsticks by himself. Hinata had discovered that his fellow first year wasn’t so bad after all, especially when Tsukishima wasn't around. Plus, he was kind of cute, Hinata really liked his freckles.

"Tsukki went home sick." Was all Yamaguchi said when Hinata sat down.

"Oh...Right." Hinata said, "Hopefully he gets better soon, wouldn't want to miss too much practice!" Not that Tsukishima put very much effort into training anyway, but it was almost uncomfortably quiet without his scattered insults. Of course Hinata would ever admit that, he was still an asshole.

"Yeah hopefully." Yamaguchi nodded.

Hinata pulled out his lunch and ate slowly, the food tasting wrong somehow - not because his mother’s cooking was bad, of course.

"Hey Hinata?"

"Mmm?"

"Ahh... thank you for sitting with me."

Hinata was thrown off for a short second before he smiled widely, "Of course!" After all, his bad mood shouldn't be pushed onto the unassumingly cute Yamaguchi.

A small smile twitched at the burnets lips, "...where's Kageyama?"

A heat came with the anger that rushed through him. He swallowed the food in his mouth before replying, "Who knows, avoiding me wherever he is."

Yamaguchi seemed to sense the undesired direction the conversation was heading and swiftly change the topic to some movie he was thinking of seeing. Hinata nodded along politely, adding a comment or two when needed, but his mind was solely on Kageyama all throughout lunch.

 

* * *

 

 

Hinata struggled his way through his last two classes if the day, thinking about what he should say to Kageyama on their way home. Maybe he should just jump straight to the point, blunt and honest, that would translate well, right? Then there wouldn't be any miscommunication. But Kageyama was kind tetchy lately and Hinata didn't want to scare him off or push him away. Perhaps he should ease into it. Ask about his day or something.

Hinata shook his head, he didn't think he'd ever asked Kageyama how his day was. He frowned, that was actually kind of rude, and Kageyama always asked Hinata how _his_ day had been. He made a mental note to make more small talk.

The crisp chime of the bell cut through his thoughts, his teacher drawling out a few instructions for homework before the flock of students erupted in activity, scooping their books and pens into their arms, eager to get home.

After collecting his bag, Hinata made his way towards the front gate, humming distractedly. He spotted Kageyama immediately, leaning against the gate as still as a statue. When he drew closer, Hinata could see his eyes flicking between the departing students, maybe looking for him?

"Hey!" Hinata beamed, placing himself right in front of Kageyama.

Kageyama seemed to snap out of a trance, flinching and staring at Hinata. With a quite greeting he twisted on the spot and walked away from the school, probably expecting Hinata to follow.

Hinata gaped at the other boys tall back for a moment before jogging to catch up. He wouldn't let it faze him.

"So..." He began, "how was your day?"

It sounded scripted falling from his lips, and the tilted dark eyebrow from Kageyama told him that he knew it too.

"Fine, I guess. Yours?"

Hinata plastered on his most intimidating face. "Could've been better."

Kageyama rolled his eyes, "Why? What is it?"

Hinata huffed, "Where were you at lunch?"

"Running some errands for a teacher?"

"For all of lunch?"

"All of lunch."

"What kind of errands?"

Kageyama faltered for half a second, it wasn’t much but it's enough for Hinata to mentally call him out on his bullshit.

When Kageyama does speak, his voice is clipped and defensive. "Shit, Dumbass, I don't know! I was carrying stacks of paper around, alright?"

Hinata doesn't grace that with a reply, simply turning his head away and sticking his nose in the air like a petulant child.

The rest of the walk home passed in complete silence, and it's not the first time that has happened, but it's the first time it's felt even remotely uncomfortable.

When they finally made it to Hinata’s house (a feat that felt substantially more strenuous than usual) Kageyama paused briefly to bid him a small goodbye before moving to head off to his own house.

Hinata grabbed his sleeve. "Wait."

Kageyama turned and stared at Hinata evenly.

"I want my kiss."

Kageyama frowned, "Huh? I—you—today doesn't count, you already had heaps earlier."

"Those were before we made the deal, today counts." Hinata said, entirely too smug.

Kageyama sighed, eyes defeated (as they should be, Hinata would get his way if it was the last thing he did), he leant down close and Hinata closed his eyes.

...And warm lips brushed against his check for the briefest of seconds. His eyes snapped open.

"What was that?!" He demanded.

"A kiss, Dumbass."

"B-but that doesn't count!" Hinata spluttered.

"Sure it does, you never specified where." Kageyama looked way too proud of himself.

Hinata couldn't believe he'd left that gaping hole in his grand plan. He hated that Kageyama decided to use it too. "That's so unfair." He whined.

Kageyama shrugged, turning on his heel. "Bye Hinata."

Hinata seethed as he watched Kageyama’s retreating back. He thought about shouting something, but he couldn't think of anything clever. Instead he retreated into his house, cursing the world for making him like such an asshole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my adoration for Yamaguchi Tadashi seems to force its way into everything I write I'm so sorry.


	5. Mind games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am an endless stream of apologies. I'm also running on one hour of sleep so who knows what this chapter has in it... I hope there's dragons
> 
> (Also thank you to the people who left comments on the last chapter, you really are too kind. they made me super happy)

A week. It had been a whole week since Kageyama had made his request for space. A week since Hinata had graciously allowed it. A week of awkward silences, skittish glances, indignant looks, and one very, very antsy red head. 

For the first two days, Kageyama appeared blasé through the whole thing, when he was present that is. He showed up to practices and never missed a class, but between that Kageyama was almost always off somewhere and Hinata wouldn't see him until the next class. It was highly suspicious, and on one occasion Hinata had attempted to follow Kageyama to find out what he was up to, but apparently his boyfriend possessed a nimbleness he wasn’t aware of and he lost him in the crowd in under a minute.

For the remaining days he would be there for lunch and breaks and all the other times they managed to sneak in time for each other, but it was overwhelmingly awkward. Kageyama seemed out of it of sorts, looking at him with a kind of nervousness that Hinata interpreted as worry. Worry about what? He didn't know, he was perfectly fine as far as he knew.

Kageyama used the loophole in Hinata’s kiss demand to its full extent, only kissing him on the lips once, and that was after a late night practice when he'd taken a ball to the head particularly hard and had to lie down for half an hour. He had to admit, he didn't mind the cheek kisses or the forehead kisses (or the nose kiss on Wednesday that made him laugh and Kageyama blush). They were... nice. They felt nice. But it was getting to the point where he really missed Kageyama. Even though they spent plenty of time together, it felt like an infinitesimal amount of time in comparison to the age it felt when they were _together_ together. It was actually kind of lonely.

He wanted to touch Kageyama again. Sure the first time hadn't gone exactly as he'd expected, but Sugawara-san had taught them everything hadn't he? They knew what to do and they had the stuff to do it. Hinata found himself thinking about it in an increasing amount and had already woken to soiled pants twice. Even if it wasn’t touch in that way, Hinata missed the general physical proximity a great deal. He missed curling up with Kageyama to watch scary movies and he missed the warmth of his body when they spent the nights at each other’s houses.

He thought about bringing it up with Kageyama, asking him what was going on with them. He should probably ask whether Kageyama was ready to go back to how they were. A week was more than enough time to think wasn’t it? The way he was so careful and tentative around Hinata was getting old fast.

The bell signalling the end of class pulled Hinata from his daydreaming, hurrying to join the flurry of students streaming out for lunch.

He made it to Kageyama’s class in a flash, grinning up to his ears when he spotted the dark head. He pulled a chair up to Kageyama’s desk, slipping in easily.

"Hey!"

Kageyama jumped at his sudden appearance, the pen he had been using to scribble something down in his notebook falling to the floor with an echoing clatter. He scowled, leaning down to retrieve it. "Don't do that, dumbass."

Hinata said nothing, pursing his lips and looking at Kageyama expectantly.

" _What_?"

"You haven't said hello yet." Hinata pouted.

Kageyama sighed, "Hello, Hinata." Hinata grinned, propping his elbow up on the desk and resting his chin on his hand. "You're pretty needy you know." Kageyama added quietly.

"Hey!" Hinata kicked his shin under the table.

Kageyama winced, reaching down to rub at the spot. He hadn't kicked him _that_ hard had he?

"...sorry?" Hinata blinked, peering up at him.

"Don't worry I just knocked it during training the other day."

"Oh..." Rather than pull his foot away, Hinata tucked his heel behind Kageyama’s ankle.

Kageyama narrowed his eyes, "What are you doing?"

"Hm? Me?" Hinata feigned ignorance. "Nothing." A wry smile crept onto his face as he watched Kageyama’s cheeks tint pink.

Hinata lifted his leg, stroking the back of Kageyama’s calf with his foot slowly, liking the way it made the other boy shift in his seat.

Kageyama swallowed, throwing surreptitious glances around them, likely to assure no one was witnessing this. The classroom was roughly half full of students, chatting idly and ignoring the two boys at the back of the room for the most part

With a loud squeak of metal scraping against hard floor, Kageyama shot up from his seat.

"I'm going to the vending machine." He announced, probably louder than necessary considering the two girls nearby throwing him strange looks. Hinata chuckled when he immediately walked away swiftly, not asking Hinata if he wanted anything like usual or if maybe Hinata wanted to accompany him.

Leaning back in his chair, Hinata opened his lunch. Messing with Kageyama could actually be pretty interesting. Sure, it wasn’t what he'd planned to do with the whole 'talk it out' thing, but this seemed much more fun anyway.

 

* * *

 

Hinata wouldn't see Kageyama for the rest of his classes, which was kind of a letdown, but he still had afternoon practice to work with. He spent most of his classical lit class thinking up different ways to catch Kageyama’s attention, thanking his past self for bringing a loose shirt for training.

He was itching to get to the gym as the minutes ticked towards the final bell, practically vibrating energy. One of his classmates had actually asked him if he was feeling okay— he'd never looked that excited or lively in that class apparently.

When the end of the day finally arrived, Hinata ran all the way to the gym, grabbing his bag on the way and throwing a few apologies over his shoulder to both teachers and students as he pushed past them.

Sugawara and Daichi were just unlocking the doors when he zoomed past them, heading straight for the locker room with a fleeting greeting. He missed the perplexed looks from his senpai, wrapped up in his mission.

As soon as the door was pulled shut behind him Hinata started pulling off his clothes, acutely aware that Kageyama would be there any second—they were always the first ones there. Reassured that Sugawara and Daichi always set up the net before getting changed, Hinata tugged his shirt over his head. He deliberately left his school shoes on, singing his own praise at this blatantly brilliant plan before attempting to take his pants off.  Predictably, they got caught around his ankles and couldn't be pulled past his shoes. Content with the mess he'd got himself in, Hinata settled on the floor, half naked save his boxers, waiting for Kageyama.

There was a half-minute or so where he entertained the thought of someone else walking through those doors, someone like Tsukishima. It very nearly spooked him into giving up on this particular act, but just as he contemplated this, the door clicked open.

He reached for his pants again, pretending to be struggling with them purely for show.

"Hinata? What the hell are you doing?!"

He almost sighed in relief at his boyfriend’s gruff tone. "Getting changed of course! My pants are just stuck." He delighted in the colour already rising in Kageyama’s cheeks as he gaped at the scene before him.

"On _what_? Your feet aren't exactly huge, you know." Kageyama said, dropping his bag onto the bench and crouching down next to Hinata.

"Hey!" He refused to look any deeper into that statement.

Kageyama smacked his hands away (which were being particularly unhelpful) tugging the cuffs of his pants back over his feet.

"You're still wearing your shoes! What's wrong with you, are you an idiot?!"

Hinata glared, "Just shut up and help me."

After a few minutes of shuffling, untying impossible laces (kudos to Hinata), and some not-so-subtle perving from one Kageyama Tobio who was apparently markedly aware of Hinata’s near naked state, they finally managed to get both the redheads shoes and pants off. Hinata mused at the familiarity of the situation, both of them on the hard floor of the locker rooms, Kageyama pulling his pants off. He stopped his train of thought there.

"Thanks." He said cheerily, bouncing up from the floor and offering a hand to Kageyama.

Eyeing it for a moment, Kageyama took it, mumbling a "dumbass" under his breath.

Hinata dressed quickly after that, mostly so he could openly ogle Kageyama while he changed. Kageyama flushed under the attention, making a fair effort to ignore Hinata.

"—I swear, she totally paid attention to me for longer than two seconds, Ryuu!" Tanaka and Nishinoya entered the change room, shifting the charged atmosphere between the first years.

"Ahh Kiyoko-san is so generous, offering her time to you like that when she's so busy!"

Nishinoya nodded along eagerly, expressing his own praises for the third year manager.

Hinata greeted his two senpai, following Kageyama as he left the locker room. It was going to be a good training, Hinata decided.

 

* * *

 

Half an hour into afternoon practice, Hinata had pulled out some if his best ideas; when he went to spike, he tried to catch the air in a way that would force his shirt to ride up, revealing skin that Kageyama would definitely see. Kageyama’s eyes were glued to him constantly, leading to a few dud tosses to other spikers. Luckily for him, Kageyama could pass off his flushed face as physical exertion.

 In their short breaks Hinata would use the front of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face, having _conveniently_ left his towel at home. He made a big deal of doing it too, taking his time to hike up the fabric, making sure Kageyama was paying him attention all the while. He drank from his water bottle too fast, tipping his head back and letting some of it drop down his chin. It was around that point that Kageyama’s red face started looking angry, and Hinata was finally getting somewhere.

"Alright, take a three minute break!" Daichi announced to the relief of all players, "It'll be the last one before we finish up."

Hinata watched as Kageyama slumped down into the bench beside the court, drinking deeply from his bottle.

Rather than sitting beside Kageyama, Hinata seated himself right next to Yamaguchi, who was on the floor by the net catching his breath. He sat much closer than would be considered appropriate during a hot and sweaty practice. Hinata smiled sweetly at Yamaguchi, who was staring down at him curiously with wide eyes.

"Your receives are improving heaps, Yamaguchi! It’s like you don't even have to think that much, you just know where ball is gonna go and then fffwaahh! You get it!"

Yamaguchi blushed under the praise, "A-ah, thank you!"

Hinata smiled again, enjoying the way Kageyama was blatantly eavesdropping. It was so far from subtle, he was practically glaring at them. "Oh," Hinata reached up, bringing his hand to Yamaguchi’s face. He dragged his fingers gently over the brunet’s cheek, as if there were something there to brush away (which of course, there wasn’t.) "You had an eyelash on you." Hinata explained, the lie seeming to settle Yamaguchi who had been quite shocked by the contact.

"Th-thanks." Yamaguchi stuttered.

Daichi addressed the group once more, "Have one last drink and we'll do another fifteen minutes and finish up."

Hinata stood up, fetching his drink bottle from the bench near Kageyama, who watched him while he drank. This was turning out to be easier than he anticipated. Kageyama looked frustrated, like he wanted hit him. He hoped that frustration would manifest in other ways...

The last fifteen minutes flew by quickly and Hinata could barely hide his grin when Kageyama volunteered them both for broom duty.

He had barely taken three steps into the storage room when he was pushed roughly to the back, behind a tall shelf filled with boxes. No one would be able to see them if they happened to look in.

Hinata was shoved against the shelf, the metal digging into his back uncomfortably, but he couldn't complain when Kageyama’s hot mouth was on his, demanding and unreserved.

Hinata responded in kind, opening his mouth and taking whatever Kageyama was offering. He seemed completely unlike his recent self, licking into Hinata’s mouth without hesitation. Hinata moaned into the touch, pulling Kageyama closer, the only feeling running through his mind being one of insane relief. He'd missed this.

Finally pulling away to breath, Hinata smiled, "So does this mean were boyfriends again or was that today's kiss?"

Kageyama glared at him, panting hard, "I know what you're doing. Stop it."

Hinata put on his most innocent face, frowning at Kageyama quizzically.

"You've been trying to seduce me!" He accused. "And make me jealous!"

Hinata pouted, looking up at Kageyama through his lashes. "Did it work?"

Kageyama groaned, "I really hate you. Don't touch Yamaguchi like that again, or anyone who isn't me for that matter."

Hinata chuckled, "I didn't know this would work so well, if I had I might have tried it earlier."

"Hinata,” Kageyama admonished, “you have to stop. I won't take too much more time okay?"

Hinata deflated, "So were not boyfriends again."

"We've been boyfriends this whole time, dumbass. Taking a break is different from breaking up."

Hinata said nothing, looking away indignantly. Kageyama sighed.

"Look, we’ll have a big talk soon, okay? I promise. This is just me figuring stuff out for it. You should think about things too. Things you want to talk to me about, all of it."  Kageyama tucked his fingers under Hinata’s chin, forcing him to make eye contact.

"A big talk doesn't sound like something we'd do." Hinata mumbled.

"Exactly." Kageyama said pointedly, "That's why we're doing it. We're going to do all of this right. You heard Sugawara-senpai, communication is important or whatever."

Hinata didn't know for sure, but it felt like Kageyama wasn’t telling him the whole truth. Still, he didn't mention it, not wanting to exasperate Kageyama further.

"Hinata? Kageyama?" A voice echoed into the store room. Kageyama stepped away from Hinata, straightening out his clothes before walking around the shelf. Hinata followed his lead.

"Sorry Asahi-san, we were having trouble finding the brooms."

"Oh, that’s fine!" Asahi said, holding his hands in the air as though he’d done something wrong, "they're just there." He gestured to the same spot the brooms had always been in.

"Ah, of course. Thank you." Kageyama grabbed a broom, passing it to Hinata.

"R-right." Asahi smiled. "I’ll be heading off then. Thanks for the hard work!"

The two first years repeated the sentiment, watching the upperclassman leave the gym.

"The quicker we get this done, the sooner we can leave." Kageyama said, walking out in the gym.

Hinata huffed and hurried to catch up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Safety tip: always take shoes off before attempting to take off pants 
> 
> (Pshh, what? There's no personal experience there what are you talking about I’m just lookin out for y'all..) 
> 
> Thank you for your patience (seriously)


	6. Authors note(sorry)

Waddup

Bet you hoped youd never hear from me again. 

So heres the deal, its been long enough that im fairly certan this fic is not something ill be able to continue. Truth is i dont really like it and it makes me kinda uncomfortable. 

If i do somehow end up continuing, itll be a little different from whats already been posted (i wont be re-reading chapters so continuity will be ?? questionable) and the pace will be fast, maybe with time jumps, to wrap it up asap. But this is a big If

So i wanted to give anyone who still likes this the opportunity to read whatever unfinished stuff i have for the next chapter. Itll just be some chunks of the ch and some dot points i think, ill try to make it a little less messy. But anyway, if thats something youd like im happy to post it here just let me know in the comments 

Caollaidhe

 

Ps: even though i was too scared to reply to comments while inactive appreciated them all very much ㅠㅠ


	7. extra stuff?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the random chunks of unpublished writing i have for this fic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to give subscribers a bit of time to voice their opinions but here we are, the random stuff ive had sitting in my drafts for a millennia. hope its not confusing, esp the dot points that slip in and out of fic and notes ..  
> if i do end up finding the willpower to complete this work ill delete this ch but until then, my peace offering. i am very sorry to anyone ive disappointed

>The next day Hinata goes to sugawara and daichi during lunch

>He needs to ask about kageyama and what he should do

>He tells them that kageyama had asked for time to think and some space

>He tells them that he just wants to go back to the way they were blah blah and asks advice on what to do.

Suga bites his lip, thinking for a moment. "It sounds like kageyamas trying to keep his distance. He's probably still upset about what happened so he doesn't to be close to you. He can fabricate a remarkable amount of guilt you know, I've seen it."

"But...why doesnt he just say that?"

Suga sighed, "exactly. And that's what I've been trying to tell you guys, you need to communicate."

Daichi clears his throat. "Kageyama came to speak with me a few times last week during lunch. I think he really is trying to make amends. He wants to make sure nothing like that happens again so he's finding out as much as he can. I told him that really isn't necessary, to just talk to you but... I guess this is his way of dealing with it."

"He will come around eventually, but you can try to confront him about it if you'd like." Suga shrugged.

>Add more idk

<<suga needs to be. A little frustrated that they didn't understand what he meant by communicate, he also needs to mention kageyamas panic attack briefly (Hinata still doesn't know about that yo)

> after

Kageyama raised an eyebrow when Hinata sat down next to him. "Where were you?"

He almost didn't want to answer out of spite, kageyama had never told him where he went all those lunchtimes ago. Though now he knew that it was just to daichi and suga, like him.

"the teacher had me help carry her stuff." He said offhandedly.

"Right."

Hinata weighed his options. He could wait for kageyama to come around, let him find out whatever he needs to know and come back ready for anything. Or he could confront him about it and get to the core of the issue, possibly putting kageyamas frantic knowledge consumption to rest and leaving more time for more important things. Well, the latter would require some effort and also came with the additional potential side effect of further isolating kageyama, but somehow it was still preferable.

"Hinata, would--"

"Kageyama--"

Both boys froze. Hinata laughed lightly while Kageyama blushed, a small smile tugging at his lips.

"You first." Hinata offered, deciding that kageyamas words were probably less heavy than his own. He didn't foresee how severely wrong he was.

"Do you want to come over tonight... After school? We can, ah, talk... And stuff." Kageyama seemed to be trying very hard to keep eye contact.

Hinata nodded furiously, "yes! Absolutely." That was a relief. At least he wouldn't have to go through the hassle of bringing it up.

 

 

>> this cuts in like halfway through their ‘talk’

 

"Is there something you wanted to bring up?" Kageyama asked.

"Yes!" Hinata bit his lip, calming himself down. Kageyama looked confronted. "I...y-you keep going on about communication and what suga senpai said but I don't think you really get it."

Kageyama raise his eyebrows but said nothing. Hinata wrung his hands in his lap. "This isn't what communication is. It's not you spending days trying to figure out what we are and worrying over things." Hinata spoke quickly, sure that if he stopped he'd lose his nerve. "I get that you needed a little time and space to think about what happened, and that's okay, but kageyama communication means _talking_ to me. Instead of trying to figure everything out on your own, all you had to do was talk to me. We could have worked it all out together. I'm sure it would have made you feel better, keeping it all to yourself isn't good." Hinata trailed off, not really sure where to go with this now. He just wanted kageyama to come to him if things get confusing or if he's worried, rather than push him away and try and get through it on his own. 

"What I'm trying to say is; next time don't 'take a break' with me or whatever and end up fussing over things that are probably stupid. _talk to me_. Don't try and fix everything by yourself, I'm in this game too. We're a team so we have to work together." Hinata cringed a little at his own words. Sort of lame, but it did the job.

Kageyamas mouth hung open slightly, staring at him with a kind of awe. he nodded slowly, licking his lips. "You're right." He stared at his hands. "I'm sorry, Hinata... I was just...scared? I don't know. I didn't want to lose you. I went about it all so wrong" kageyama buried his hands in his hair. "I'm really sorry."

Hinatas heart ached at the picture kageyama made, curling in on himself and hiding his face. It was odd seeing his rival so vulnerable. Hinata uncrossed his legs, crawling the short distance to sit in front of kageyama, his legs folded beneath him. "Don't be sorry. Just promise me you'll talk to me next time, about anything at all." Hinatas fingers curled around kageyamas wrists, pulling them away from his face gently.

"I promise." Kageyama said quietly, keeping his head bowed. Hinata hooked his fingers under his chin, forcing him look look at him. His eyes were suspiciously cloudy.

Hinata smiled softly at him, leaning forward to press a soft, barely-there kiss to kageyamas lips. He crawled into kageyamas lap, wrapping his legs around his hips and his arms around his neck, squeezing him tightly.

Kageyamas arms circled his waist. "Is there anything else you wanted to bring up?" He asked, voice muffled by hinatas sweater.

"...yeah, actually." Hinata said, running his fingers down kageyamas back. "Sugawara San told me about what happened to you that day." Hinata pulled back to look kageyama in the eye. "You didn't tell me you had a panick attack."

"Oh," kageyama but his lip. "Yeah. I didn't think it was a big deal though, im okay, I was fine."

"Well, I worry about you, you know? I guess it's not something I needed to know if it makes you uncomfortable--"

"It doesn't, really, I just didn't think to mention it." Kageyama shrugged. "It...it happened really fast. I was talking about you and what happened and then i couldnt breathe. i was shaking and crying and I couldn't stop it." he looked pained remembering it. "I was lucky daichi San was there, he helped me."

"That sounds really bad, kageyama. I'm sorry." Hinata cupped kageyamas cheeks gently. "Do you get them very often?"

"No. That was only the second one ive had."

"What should I do? If I'm with you and you have one?" Hinata implored.

"You...you really don't need to worry about it, it's not a regular thing--"

"Kageyama," Hinata whined. "I wanna be there for you if you need me."

Kageyama sighed. "Well...just help me breathe I guess. i dont have much experience with it. Maybe you could ask daichi san about it."

Hinata nodded, "okay, I'll do that. But I just want you to know that if it does happen and I'm not there, if you can, you can call me. Whenever, it doesn't matter if its the middle of the night, just call me. If you want."

"yeah, okay." Kageyama smiled.

"Good."

 

 

<<You may have noticed the rating go up.. kudos if u did. I also wrote this bc I couldn’t stop thinking about the Turkish oil wrestling joke. So this was not intended for the next chapter

 

Much, much later...

 

<< and god there was so much lube. The inexperienced kageyama seemed to have difficulty keeping it all in one place, getting it all over hinatas thighs and even onto his stomach when he'd stroked his cock. Hinata thought he might have been able to cover himself in the stuff from head to toe, maybe change sports for a while and try his hand at Turkish oil wrestling.

Halfway through hinatas internal debate on whether Turkish oil wrestling was gayer than what they were currently doing, kageyama added a third finger. It wasnt as big of a shock as the first or second intrusions had been and Hinata barely reacted, completely distracted by his dilemma. It might also have been because kageyama had been touching him like this for _ages_. It felt like its all they'd been doing for the last half an hour. Kageyama could probably shove his dick in there and Hinata didn't think he'd notice. Well, maybe he would, but he could exaggerate as much as he wanted this was _torture_.

"Tobio," he whined, wriggling his hips. " _please_."

"Just a little longer." The deep crease between kageyamas eyebrows as he concentrated made Hinata feel particularly unsexy so he huffed and fell back against the sheets. If kageyama wanted to finger him for an hour he didn't care, so long as he got to the main event in the end.

 

>>><><> 

"Ah!-nngg...S-stop looking at me like that with your scary face, I'm _fine_ , alright." Hinata whined, smothering kageyamas face with his hands.

"Hinata!" His voice was muffled and he stilled his hips. "Stop that!"

"Then stop staring at me like that! I get that you don't want to hurt me but you fingered me for freaking _forever_ I promise I'm fine." Hinata blushed, keeping eye contact. He kept hearing sugawaras voice in his head (which was completely unwelcome in this situation) _communication is extremely important_. "And I told you not to call me that when we're doing this."

Kageyama sighed, shifting slightly. "I know, I just... I'm sorry, Shouyou." He dropped his head onto hinatas shoulder, nuzzling into his neck.

"Tobio~" Hinata tried to coax him out. "I'll tell you if something hurts okay?"

"You promise?"

"I promise. If I get so much as a burning sensation you'll be getting an earful alright?" Hinata put on a mock serious tone. Kageyama drew back, resting his head against hinatas. "You need to calm down, we're gonna be okay, alright?"

"Okay."

Kageyama moved again, his infinitesimal jerks uncoordinated and not nearly enough to really do anything for Hinata, but they steadily grew deeper and faster as he gained confidence, Hinata breathy moans leading him on. It felt good, being so full of his boyfriend like this.  It was so much different from the first time. There was no fire this time, no burning pain, only an intense pressure building in his gut and the delicious feeling of kageyamas slick skin stroking him from the inside out. Hinata lifted his legs to wrap around kageyamas hips, changing the angle just enough for kageyama to slide in an out with almost practiced ease.

Kageyama gasped, pressing down into Hinata more, pulling almost all the way out before slamming back in over and over and Hinata felt that warm feeling spreading lower.

On one particularly deep thrust, Hinata distinctly felt kageyama brush against /something inside him, his entire body jerked and he cried out, arching his back on the mattress.

The movement immediately ceased and Hinata wanted to throw kageyama onto the bed and fuck himself on his dick to avoid any further disruptions from kageyamas fragile worry meter that apparently only had two settings; 'Worried a lot' and 'worried-so-much-I-could-rival-your-mother.'

"Shouyou are you--"

"I'm fine! I'm _fine_. Do that again. _move_." Hinata said through clenched teeth.

Kageyama looked at him, his worried gaze giving way to one full of unadulterated lust. His hips moved urgently, Angling to find that sweet spot in Hinata again and clearly close to his own release. Hinata was close too, he could feel his balls tightening but he willed himself not to come. He wanted kageyama to find his prostate again (he remembered sugawara explaining what it was).

It took a few tries but kageyama had Hinata crying out and squirming beneath him in under a minute. And once he found it, he made sure he got it every time. Kageyama had the same precision that he had in volleyball with a lot of things apparently.

Hinatas mind was running blank, he couldn't think straight. All he could think, all he could see, was kageyama. He moaned in earnest, caring little about being heard by kageyamas neighbours.

"Ah--haahng... So good, it's so good." Hinata mumbled out pleas and obscenities as kageyama moved in him with a consultant rhythm now, occasionally slipping up.

"There?" Kageyama was recovering his nerve, a sly grin playing on his lips. Hinata had to appreciate his composure while he was clearly just on the edge himself.

"Yes yesyes yes please don't stop" Hinata chanted the word endlessly, writhing in the sheets as his vision blurred. This was incredible. He could feel his emigre body reaction to every inch of kageyama, his toes and fingers curling, his lungs struggling to hold air, his legs trembling in their iron grip around kageyama.

Ajsxashd Im sorry I never ended this they both came the end.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, sorry im crap. hope this makes up for it a little go read good hq fics lol


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